Disappointment

June 23, 2009

Okay yesterday work was fine. Didn’t do much. Accidentally took a nap while Kimora was gone with my mom. Which is probably why I couldn’t sleep last. Add Little Mikey dancing around in my belly until well past midnight. I think I fell asleep somewhere around 2. Then Kimora woke up at 3 and then 4…I’ve found that she really can’t sleep with clothes on. I made the mistake of putting a footsie pajama on her so I think that’s what made her wake up so much. After I took it off her she stayed asleep until around 9.

So today I’m in the bathroom straightening my hair. My mom had gone to La Porte to see my grandma and she took Kimora with her so the house was quiet and my sister was on the phone. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but I could her talking and I heard her say something about “…don’t take that shit…” So I start listening thinking she’s being a good friend and telling whoever it was on the phone to not take some drug…as in the kind that fucks you up. The more I listen the more I realize she’s talking about birth control. Oh shit So I hear her say something about …”just go to the doctor so your mom thinks you’re taking it but don’t” I’m assuming the 18 year old’s mom found out she’s having sex and now her mom wants her to go get on birth control. I sit there contemplating if I want to go say anything and risk my sister getting mad because I’m listening to her. It’s not like I was trying to listen…it’s just I could hear her. I finally say fuck it. Something needs to be said. So I go in there and ask what she’s talking about. She gets pissed off and says that she doesn’t have to explain anything to me and for me not to listen. I explain that I’m not sure what she’s talking about but if it’s what I think she’s talking about she’s giving bad advice. She says she’s not giving bad advice and tells me to put headphones on. I go back to the bathroom and she continues to try to convince her friend to “just be careful” and that “it could mess you up later on in life” and that “you’re gonna have crazy mood swings” I’m just getting more and more pissed off as I hear her say all this ignorant shit. Mostly because it makes me realize that when/if my sister has sex…she’s not gonna be on birth control. It just worries me. “Just being careful” has got me where I am today, 31 weeks pregnant. I’m pretty sure if I had got on birth control after I had Kimora I wouldn’t be sitting right here. This isn’t about me though. It’s about how ignorant my sister is being and then the fact that she’s forcing it upon her friend. From the sound of it her friend thought birth control was a good thing and the whole conversation was my sister trying to convince her otherwise. If they hadn’t just graduated high school then fuck it they would be old enough to make their own decisions. But they’re not. They’re 18 years old and have no idea how shit works, apparently. I respect the fact that my sister is a vegetarian, it takes alot of willpower to be one. I respect that she doesn’t use the dryer…because she wants to make a difference. Or how she buys shit that is made organically. Or how she wants to recycle everything. I respect all that but her problem is she tries to force her views and opinions on everyone. Even when she’s wrong…like now. Sure there have been people who couldn’t have babies after they were on birth control. Sure there are girls who get mood swings…with or without birthcontrol. But the pros of birth control outweigh the cons and she has living proof living in the same house as her. I don’t see how she can be so smart…yet so dumb. I’m thinking about writing her an email and letting her know how I feel but a big part of me knows I’ll just be wasting my time.

I had my doctor’s appointment today. Mike had said that he was gonna come. Yesterday he asked what time it would be at and I didn’t feel like going to my car to check to tell him so I said I would let him know this morning. So I text him and he said he would be there. I got to the doctor’s office only like 3 minutes before my appt. I was actually surprised to see him not there. They don’t call me back until about 2:45 and he never showed. I was pretty damn disappointed. He’s never said he was gonna be there and then not show…at least not for a doctor’s appointment. Well life goes on and me and the doctor call the hospital and schedule the c-section for August 18 and 7:30 in the morning. We listen to the heartbeat and it’s a strong 153. So Little Mikey is doing good. I weigh 125 now…Finally back to my weight before I had Kimora lol After I leave the doctor’s office I send Mike a message telling him that I was disappointed in him, when we scheduled the c-section for, and that he no longer needed to worry about going to the appointments with me. He really hurt my feelings this time. He ended up calling a little after 4 but his calls are automatically forwarded to my voicemail now and I honestly had nothing to say to him so I didn’t call back. He didn’t try calling again or texting me so…oh well.

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